"There is no greater threat to women than men" - Louis CK

Hey Louis CK,

You make a good point in your stand up routine. Actually you make a really good point. Men are the biggest threat to women. Thing is, that's not the entertaining bit. The entertaining bit is your solution to the problem. You imply that women should stop dating men altogether and that women are basically insane for going out with men in the first place even though they unfortunately have to (for purposes of continuing the species). Yeah it is unfortunate. Know what else is unfortunate? That fact that instead of giving women the respect they deserve by highlighting that MEN should change their behaviour you put the responsibility upon the victim to fix the problem.

If a lightbulb is blown you don’t make people wear night vision goggles. Sunlight and candles are also only a temporary fix. So you get a new light bulb and you change it and then the problem is solved… until the light bulb blows again. This is because changing the lightbulb is essentially the best way to fix the problem. Nothing beats fixing the problem at the source.

Men are the source, because as you said, men are the threat.

You said in your routine: ‘But women still think “yeah I’ll go out with you alone at night”.
What are you nuts?
“I’ll get in your car with you with my little shoulders. Hi where are we going?”
To your death statistically.’

How come you think women are the crazy ones for going out with men and not men being the crazy ones for statistically leading women to their death? What you think it’s something you should be proud of? Clearly you aren’t proud of it otherwise you wouldn’t suggest women should stop dating men. It’s apparent you think the situation is ridiculous. And that’s because it is.

It’s fucking ridiculous that you can acknowledge that men are the biggest threat to women and not once say “Hey guys get your shit together we fucking suck!” Instead it’s all “Hey ladies you’re fucking crazy get your shit together because we ain’t.”

Men like you are the biggest threat to women because you add to a wider media culture that sees women as the problem rather than men. The problem is that women aren’t crazy, the problem is that men won’t up their game and fucking take responsibility for their shitty actions.

So it’d be great if next time you make an observation like this one you act like a positive role model for men. You could provide a solution that acknowledges women are not the crazy ones and that men are guilty of having the privilege and power to deny women the right to challenge this in the first place. Or you could simply just say “There is no greater threat to women than men... and this needs to change.”

Just a thought.

From,

Ol Andy

Ain't nothing weak about a badass guard kitty

So now that we’ve established calling people a vagina is a stupid ass thing to do, we’d also like to point out that calling someone a “pussy” is in the same realm of idiocy.

Basically if you’re going to call a guy a “pussy” it better be because he’s actually dressed like a cat and not because you’re implying he’s weak. Therefore, I recommend you watch ‘The Great Sperm Race’ voiced by actor Richard Armitage because by the end you’ll realise that the vagina is not to be fucked with.

Dudes, the vagina is out there to destroy your goods. It’s lethal and like a dictator has a penchant for mass murder. The sperms first contact with the vagina is described as akin to storming the beaches on D-Day. Yet, unfortunately many die as chemical weapons assault them before they even get the chance to reach the subsequent horrors of the cervix, the uterus and the fallopian tubes.

So good luck with that, may the force be with you sperm. And just a reminder if successful this baby is now going have to make an exit…most likely from the vagina.

So even though the word “pussy” has origins in the Old Saxon ‘puse’ a name for the vulva and has now become a double entendre with our much beloved feline friends because of their noticeable soft, furry coat, please take note that the vulva ain’t weak or soft or cute like a kitty, it’s concealing one of the most badass motherfucking assassins you will ever meet. Just think of it as Heimdall guarding the rainbow bridge aka the Bifrost. Don’t sound so cowardly now does it?

By Ol Andy

Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble

Friedman once said ‘when a frog is put straight into boiling water it will jump out. But if you put them in a room temperature pot and let it boil. They will boil to death.’*

That right there is what we are doing to our girls – we are letting them be boiled to death.

It starts with that old adage “boys will be boys.” It excuses their behaviour and it internalises rape culture because as Friedman explains, we teach girls to tolerate “low level” boundary violations and so they learn to stay silent when it comes to the actions of males. By telling girls, that if a boy hits you, he likes you, by telling boys that their behaviour is natural and it’s healthy to be ‘rough’, we teach children that assault and rape is ok. And it’s not ok.

I mean think about this carefully. The media of pop culture is saturated with sexualised images. We erotise these girls and we blame them for mimicking what they see all the time. We then tell boys that being violent is what masculinity is about.

So we make excuses for boys, we start blaming the victim instead of the rapist for being a mother fuckin’ rapist. We need to change the way we educate our children, we need to start teaching boys to respect girls, and for girls to respect their bodies and that they have power to set their boundaries.

Before all the girls are boiled to death.

*Quoted from Jaclyn Friedman from her work “The (non-existent) terrible, horrible, no good, very bad consequences of enthusiastic consent”.

By Ol Andy

Cunt you just understand you're being stupid?

Remember that time you called me a vagina? Actually it was more like “Oi ya cunt”. But still, you basically just called me a vagina. Oh no, that’s a bit embarrassing now isn’t it? Well we can’t go around calling people vaginas can we? That’s just weird.

Ummmm AND it’s also stupid. What’s with the focus on degrading genitalia? People don’t go around calling people arms, legs, eyes, mouths, etc. That’d be stupid. But they are body parts too!

Calling someone a “dickhead” or a “cunt” is as stupid as calling someone a foot. If a “cunt” is meant to reflect some notion of genital incompetence than we should, in essence, be able to call people “arms, legs, eyes, mouths, etc” because some people are pretty incompetent when it comes to using them as well. Some people use their arms and legs as weapons of assault, some people refuse to use their eyes to see the truth, others use their mouths to degrade and oppress when they don’t have the right.

So next time if you’re going to call me anything, call me a vagina, because if you can’t say the actual word than clearly you realise just how stupid it is to say it in the first place. Gosh some people are such penises.

By Ol Andy